In a nicely appointed mahjong room, four women in their early fifties gathered for their cherished weekly mahjong game. As they rearranged their tiles, their laughter was interwoven with a deeper conversation—one that reflected not only their wealth but also their concerns about financial knowledge and control. While each had built successful lives, their discussions revealed a common truth: many of them had allowed their husbands to handle financial matters, leaving them feeling uncertain about their own financial futures and the futures of their adult children.
As the game progressed, the similarities between mahjong and financial literacy became increasingly apparent. Each tile served as a metaphor for financial decisions—some familiar, others daunting and complex. The women acknowledged how easy it was to become complacent, relying on their spouses to navigate investment choices and the overall financial plan.
Yet, like a well-played hand, financial management requires understanding, strategy, and, most importantly, active participation. The fear of becoming financially vulnerable in a crisis loomed large in their discussions, highlighting the need for empowerment and knowledge.
Clara, one of the women, recounted a particularly poignant story that struck a chord with her friends. After her husband’s sudden passing, she realized that while she knew the login passwords to their accounts, she had never been involved in managing their finances. In that moment of loss, she faced a harsh reality: the tiles of her life were scattered, some representing financial security and others daunting uncertainties. In the wake of her grief, Clara found herself grappling with understanding their investments, debts, and savings. Her journey became a powerful reminder that it’s crucial for women to take an active role in their financial affairs, regardless of their marital status.
As the game ended, the women collectively reflected on their experiences, recognizing that financial empowerment is akin to mastering mahjong—it requires commitment to learning, adapting strategies, and anticipating challenges. They vowed to support one another in reclaiming their financial independence, ensuring that their children inherit not only wealth but also the skills to navigate life’s uncertainties. By changing their approach to finances, they could play an active role in their futures, building a legacy that was both resilient and informed. Concluding their evening, the women understood the vital importance of being engaged in their families’ finances.
At Well Lived Wealth, we encourage the participation of both spouses or partners in developing and following their financial plan. Many times, societal norms have conditioned women to defer discussions about money, often feeling intimidated or inadequately knowledgeable and reticent to bring the topic up with their spouse. According to Cassie Menn of The Antidote, “the role of money can be viewed as sensitive, but couples can navigate complex topics like this one in ways that deepen and foster trust and connection.” Well Lived Wealth suggests that to encourage financial conversations, it can be helpful to start with an open dialogue about shared financial goals or to set aside time for regular financial check-ins as a couple. Practicing with questions like, “What are our long-term goals?” or “How can we ensure a secure future for our children?” can ease the transition into more detailed financial topics. According to Menn, “couples need to remember that they are in the business of operating like a “we”. Couples should establish some nonnegotiables for when they discuss the topic of finances and use these to protect escalations.”
As Menn says, “the secret to talking about any financial situation in a marriage is about working as a team, sharing one another’s goals and hopes with money, and ultimately understanding that there are different perspectives about money that we all have.” And as our mahjong group of ladies has understood it is important for women especially to reclaim their financial narratives not only to protect their future but to cultivate a sense of shared responsibility that fosters deeper familial bonds.
Molly Ward, CFP®, CDFA® is the Founder of Well Lived Wealth, LLC and has more than 25 years of professional experience. A Texas native, Molly earned her CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional designation and built a wealth management firm before she had her first child at age 26. Since then, she has acquired a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® designation, earned the Columbia Coaching Certificate, received Collaborative Divorce Training, and participated in financial programs at Harvard and Wharton Business Schools. She was named one of five advisors (and the only woman) to Equitable’ s Elite Advisor Group Steering Committee out of 5,000 of her peers and is currently ranked 39th nationally at Equitable Advisors. She is a former Associate’s Roundtable Chair of the James A. Baker III Institute at Rice University, a former member of the board of her local library and has held numerous PTO positions. Molly is currently a member of the Investment Committee at the St. Luke’s Foundation and the Houston Business and Estate Planning Council. To set an introductory meeting with Molly, please click here.
Cassie Menn, MA LPC-A is a couple's therapist who works with individuals across various stages of their relationship. Cassie is also a Senior Mayo Clinic Health and Wellness Coach. Before working with couples and individuals in a clinical setting, Cassie spent more than two decades in management consulting coaching executives, working with organizations to manage and drive change through M&As and culture transformations, as well as developing high-performing teams. Cassie is one of the clinicians at The Antidote - A Better You and is clinically supervised under Meg Wilson, LPC-S, for the remainder of her associateship.
The information provided in this article has been obtained from sources we believe to be reliable and is for informational purposes only. Cassie Menn and Meg Wilson are not affiliated or associated with, and are not endorsed by, Equitable Advisors or its affiliates.