If there is one thing I want to leave in this world (aside from three wonderful children), it is to help women live up to their financial potential. This is a mission rooted in a lifetime of experiences, and one that influences my work, family life, and contributions in my community. Money and life are intertwined - and that’s why we help women create a great relationship with their money. I have seen so many brilliant professional women and hardworking moms change the course of their life and their family’s lives by being proactively and thoughtfully prepared for the inevitable “what if’s” that life brings us. The “what if’s” are those difficult season such as a health crisis, death, job loss or divorce that we all may experience.
My own journey to being a financially independent woman began as a child. I grew up with a father who had a successful career as a corporate executive, and a stay-at-home mom. Looking back, it’s weird that as a child, I had no idea we were wealthy. I grew up in one of the most prestigious neighborhoods in Houston, and summer camped with Texas Royalty. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized the extent of my grandparent’s extreme success — my grandfather was the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I always thought we were poor. My mom was the consummate coupon-clipper, and on the rare occasion we went out to eat, my brother and I were not allowed to order cheese on our burgers, but instead had to wait until we got home to use the cheese in the refrigerator to save 10 cents. And because my mother (who is an excellent cook) did not trust the new-fangled invention, the microwave, the cheese was melted in the oven! I’d often grumble that we didn’t go on vacations at hotels, instead spending time hiking, hunting and fishing on our grandparents’ four homes. My oblivion to our privilege is a testament to my family’s humble nature and work ethic.
Even though I assumed I’d never develop a career and stay home and raise children like my own mother — and my grandmothers before her — I was always expected to excel. I was an A student and editor of the high school newspaper. I was an excellent athlete, on the varsity tennis team as a freshman, and always caught the most fish and was the best shot on my grandparents’ properties. Despite the blatant gender divide in my family, my grandfather took me along to high-level business meetings both in Houston and abroad. The lessons he taught me on those trips and in his personal dealings were worth more than an MBA.
I was engaged to be married before graduating with a Bachelors of Arts in History from Texas A&M. My fiancé was a dashing law student who already had a CPA designation and was clearly en route to one of the most coveted law jobs. I shudder to think what my life would have looked like had I executed my Plan A. The summer after graduation and during my engagement, I decided to entertain myself with a job (so silly, I know!). I landed in the wealth management office of a regional bank where I had access to the files of the most affluent families in Houston. The names on those accounts were those I recognized from the sides of university buildings, and in the newspaper — not to mention from my family’s social circle and neighbors. Exposure to those figures, and understanding the level of care it took to protect and grow wealth suddenly became my obsession, especially when I came to realize that my husband’s high salary could easily be squandered without proper attention. Now, as a young adult, I saw it squandering all around me.
Still committed to being a traditional wife and mother, I thought I’d entertain myself further by earning a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional designation (one of just five women in Texas at the time under the age of 30). I absolutely loved the work. I loved the numbers, thrilled in the power that came with understanding money and investing — not just for my family’s future, but for what I could do for others. I loved the work far more than my original, traditional stay-at-home plan, and launched my own wealth management practice, and built a thriving firm before I had my first child at age 25. Since then, I have enjoyed many prestigious accomplishments — participating in programs at Harvard and Wharton Business School. A lifetime honor is being named one of five advisors to Equitable Advisors’ Elite Advisor Group Steering Committee Board out of 5,000 of my peers, and serve as a direct liaison between Equitable Advisors’ chairman, CEO, and other top executives. But that first commission check earned purely on my own hard work and hustle was a source of pride that I’ll never forget.Also, I can see now that those early days of thrilling in building a practice was fueled by a tiny, internal whisper that one day I would need to manage my money for the sake of my own independence and my children.Heading a successful wealth management firm is an incredible experience. Every day I am surrounded by incredible colleagues whose brilliance inspires me. I am very proud of the success that I have achieved, and can model for all of my children, especially my daughters who are now young women. But I am most motivated by the women whose lives I am able to touch — and help.
I often think of the mother of three small children who sat on the couch in my office and cried as she shared that her family’s net worth collapse from $50 million from her husband’s business, to negative after he suffered a sudden stroke, and the housing market collapsed. She hadn’t developed a career, and had no family money to turn to, or simply, life insurance. She had not been involved in managing either the business or her family’s personal finances, and was lost and terrified. This beautiful woman had few options, and started life anew with an entry-level retail job and small, rented house. “Tell all the women you know never to be dependent on a man,” she told me through her tears.
This story looms large for me every day. It is the fear of this situation that drives me, now a divorced mom, and independent woman managing my own money. Needless to say, I have my finances carefully managed and protected, and there is virtually no chance that my children or I will ever have to struggle, no matter what tragedies may befall us. But for many of the women who sit on that same couch, their future is not so certain — though it often can be with the proper steps.
I see fatal mistakes that incredibly bright, hard-working and good-hearted women make with their finances. This is often especially true of single women, whether divorced, widowed, or never married. Common mistakes include keeping their wealth in cash, or disproportionately tied up in their successful businesses. Lack of insurance, and poorly managed portfolios are other mistakes. But the biggest, most common pitfall is simply not dealing with their money at all. The fear and anxiety surrounding money for so many affluent women can be paralyzing.
I understand. Money, especially if you have a lot of it, is loaded for women. I get first-hand the complications of being the female breadwinner in a marriage. Now, seven years outside of my divorce, I also understand the complications of dating as a woman with her own money (Does he only like me for my net worth? Is there anyone out there good enough for me? Will he be intimidated by my success and independence? Help!). I admit that my industry — the male-dominated financial field — has a reputation for preying on women, giving women with considerable assets very good reason to distrust those offering to manage their funds.
*Divorce planning does have a one-time $250 fee